Sweets, Tea, and a Subpar Adventure
by ookaiyo
Summary: Yui and Ritsu awake to a carriage one day, only to discover that they're not heading to any sort of paradise any time soon. By the Gods, why is she still talking when there's an ice spike driven straight through her head?


A distant, heavily voice entered Yui's dreams and called out to her.

" _...roll..._ "

" _...sweetroll..._ "

" _...Yui, I have sweetrolls-_ "

"EH?" A jolt ran through the girl, awakening her to frigid air, bound hands, and a dilapidated carriage.

"Oh, finally." The one opposite her let out a sigh of relief. "Yui, you okay? Do you know what's going on?"

"No sweetrolls... Ricchan, you liar." Ritsu huffed in slight annoyance.

"Yeah yeah, now let's get to the actual fact that we're heading to our inevitable death, shall we?"

"Huh?" Yui questioned, tilting her head to the side.

"Long story short, we were knocked out while we were performing 'The Purest of Pure Hearts' in the middle of a civil battleground."

"Then where are the others?"

"You thought'd be a good idea to just have it be you and me, since Mugi was running late with her errands. Mio… well she didn't really agree with the idea of performing in the middle of a battlefield." Technically, Ritsu had thought it was good idea as well, but she didn't feel the need to go ahead and admit it. Irritated yet again, the amber haired girl looked in the direction the carriage was going in; straight for Helgen. Discouraged, she looked back to her left.

"Oi, Yui, you have any idea who that guy over there is?"

"No idea, Ricchan." A muffled 'hmph' was heard soon after. A rugged Stormcloak sitting next to Yui cocked an eyebrow and decided to direct his attention over to the two girls.

"Hey, watch it, that's Ulfric Stormcloak you're talking about."

"Isn't he the Jarl of Winterfell or something?" Yui asked.

"Windhelm, naive one. It's Windhelm."

"...Oh."

As the carriage was nearing closer and closer to their destination, the duo was getting anxious. Well, more or less just Ritsu. Yui was mostly just staring at passing butterflies to distract herself from their unwanted meeting with an executioner.

"Alright, I think I've got a plan, c'mere." Hushed strategizing ensued, all while peaking the interest of the Stormcloak yet again.

"Hey, what are you two doing this time?"

"Strategizing." Ritsu replied.

"How so?" He inquired, staring at the two as if there were Daedra before his eyes.

"Err... I don't think you'd get it. So, you got this down, Private Yui?"

"Got it, Captain Ritsu."

The brunette flashed a quick wink and a thumbs up to her partner, who did the same.

" _Indeed, Daedra._ "

The movement stopped as they had reached the inner workings of Helgen, where Imperial guards were standing by waiting for them. This was it, no turning back now. Names were called just until-

"By the Gods, what kind of chicken scratch is this?" The soldier carrying the clipboard exclaimed. His captain, now angered, grabbed the clipboard from him.

"What, what is now Hadvar?" She scanned the list and detected the problem, a puzzled look falling upon her face. "Nine Divines, what's the meaning of this?" 'Japanese' names were scrawled sloppily across the paper, as if a nine-year old had been forced to write it down.

"Right away Captain. Err… Look, I'm truly sor-"

"STOP!" Ritsu extended her bound arms out and made a stop gesture as best as she could with bound hands. She nodded at her partner-in-crime.

"We are but innocent bards with no association in this civil war, we have done nothing but get caught in the midst of all the bloodshed." " _Good job, me. That was like, 5 big words._ "

Ritsu butted in yet again.

"It would be an act of injustice on your end, executing a couple of bards who-"

"Yes yes, now Hadvar, just send these two vermin to the **damn chopping block.** " The Imperial captain grunted as she shot a glare at the two troublemakers.

"Fuck." Ritsu huffed under her breath. Two soldiers pushed Ritsu ahead of Yui, towards the bloodied stone which had a few heads rolling around it.

"Let's go, wood elf, I haven't got all day." Ritsu rolled her eyes in disgust, she was definitely not in the mood to endure such discrimination.

"C-captain... is this farewell?" Yui stammered through tears.

"Not in a couple of millennia, Private." Even though her head was pressed against the block, she still flashed a smile. Ritsu looked up at the headsman, most of her hope lost to that axe above her. Maybe she was already starting to hallucinate due to her ever-increasing levels of anxiety, since she could've sworn she heard some kind of demonic shriek, was that Oblivion calling her?

Even though this wasn't the ideal way to die, she still wanted to go out with some sort of bravery. She shut her eyes and waited for it to be done...

And that demonic roar boomed through the air once again.

"Dragon!" Her eyes snapped open and she immediately turned her head around to where she last saw Yui, who was now standing awestruck at the sight above her.

"Yui!" She snapped back into reality to look back at the other girl.

"Ricchan, now's our chance!"

"You got that right!" Ritsu pushed herself up the best she could and started sprinting towards the first thing she saw- the stone tower to her right.

"We have to go!" Shards of building and debris were raining upon the town like an apocalyptic meteor shower, destroying anything in their wake. The two bolted as fast as possible towards the closest thing to shelter they had, and somehow survived getting hit by anything too fatal. However when they made it, one wasn't as lively as the other.

"I can't run... anymore... too much... physical activity..." Yui was on her knees as she coughed through the suffocating dirt particles.

"What... was that?" The wood elf questioned, gazing outside at the red skies and hellfire.

"That man... who didn't... know how to read our names... said-"

"Dragon..." The little hope she had left was drained from her expression.

"No worries... Ricchan! We could just... rest here... until-" A deafening screech resounded from higher up in the tower, and the two looked up to see that a large portion of the stone wall had been completely obliterated and was now on fire.

"...Never mind." Yui slowly got up and placed her foot on the first step.

"Oi, Yui. Don't go up there yet. I don't want to be face to face with a dragon tied up and in rags. Er..." Ritsu shuffled over to one of the dead soldiers on the floor and positioned her hands over their axe so she could cut her bindings, making sure to bring the weapon with her. After that, she continued to take their dagger. And their chestplate. And their fur boots. Wait, what was she doing?

"Uh, Yui," Ritsu began as she cut her friend loose, "Do yourself a favor and pick up that sword from that other guy, will ya?"

"Why can't you?" Yui sneered.

"Did you not see what I just did to that soldier?"

"What I didn't see can't hurt me, Ricchan." The two proceeded to engage in a petty fist 'fight' until Ritsu gave in and picked up the blade. Though as she looked up, her eyes were met with the gagged man from earlier, standing in the empty doorway. He was still bound and gagged, so she decided to do her good deed for the day and free him from his binds. The man just stared at her with a somewhat dead expression after he was cut loose, and turned back around to look out the tower's entrance in what was close to silence.

"The legends are true…"

Intrigued yet mostly confused, Ritsu motioned for Yui to continue up the stairs. To their delight, they discovered that the opening was a potential escape route, an inn that had its roof burned off.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I don't know Ricchan, it's still on fire."

"Well I'm not going to die here," She grabbed Yui's arm and pulled her out of the tower, "Eitherrrrr!"

"AHHHHHHHHH!" The brunette flailed her arms around until she opened her eyes to find that she had (of course) landed perfectly.

"Oh. Onwards!" Yui looked at her surroundings for once and pointed to another stone building through a gap in the inn, which appeared to be some sort of keep. They maneuvered their way down through the embers until they were completely out in the open.

"Run Ricchan, run!"

"Yui, you're the one falling behind!"

Archers and mages fell by the dozens around them, explosions left and right, and that demonic dragon was circling terrifyingly close to the ground.

"Come on, we're almost there!" The girls wheezed as they made their last stretch to the barracks, where Ritsu slammed through the door, kicking it shut behind her as soon as Yui entered.

"Ricchan... go on... without me..." The brunette uttered as she melodramatically collapsed onto the ground.

"Yui... you idiot... we already made it..." Ritsu had finally resorted to panting. She looked up from her knees only to find a mossy wooden gate blocking their only path.

"What in Oblivion is this?" Ritsu had already made her way up and shook it to make sure her head wasn't banged onto the chopping block too hard, and that she wasn't 'hallucinating' again.

"It's a gate."

"No, Yui, really?"

"You asked." Ritsu sighed and rattled the gate yet again. Suddenly, a gruff, unfamiliar voice started to near their location. Ritsu backed away from the gate.

"Yui, I think those are Imperials."

"Oh crap, what do we do then?"

"We're going to have to take them by surprise." Ritsu handed off the sword she looted from that poor corpse to Yui, and they each took position adjacent to the gate.

"Alright, this shouldn't be too far from our play duels when we were kids, right Ricchan?"

"Yeah, don't worry." She said as her heart kept casually sucker punching her chest.

"Come on soldier! Keep moving!"

The footsteps started to get louder, more prominent, and less distant; and the gate retracted into the ground abruptly. An Imperial soldier and his captain emerged and were startled to see a young woman dressed in navy and fur, accompanied by another in rags.

"Stormcloaks-" Before he could finish, Yui swung her sword at the soldier's right arm, which was bare due to the Imperials' poor armor design choices. He stumbled back and whimpered in agony, as there was now a large, throbbing gash on his bicep. He attempted to bring his sword up with his left hand to Yui's stomach. It was slow enough for her to dodge and she swung another time, this time at his exposed neck. Blood was shed, and he fell back against the stone wall.

Ritsu, on the other hand, was taking up the opportunity to duel-wield, with the axe in one hand and a terribly fragile iron dagger in the other. She executed a slash across the captain's helmet with the axe, rattling her skull and eliciting a groan of discomfort. She followed with a spinning stab to the neck with the dagger and a kick to the chest, and the captain promptly dropped to the ground. Both enemies were now defeated, and the two let out a sigh.

"Hey, Yui, I'm not doing too well..." Ritsu got down on her knees and was frantically clutching her armor. She managed to get her Stormcloak chest plate off and lifted up her rags, only to reveal a fairly large, yet fresh wound on the crease of her back.

"How is it? I...I felt her take a stab when I was doing that fancy spin..."

"Oh Ricchan, are you okay? Uh, hold on… It'll be alright in just a second..." Yui took a deep breath and a warm aura started to materialize in her hands. She concentrated it right on the wound, which started to close up and miraculously heal.

"Yui, was that a healing spell?" Ritsu asked as she put her shirt back down, though still reaching up to feel the now-treated impact point.

"Yeah, Mugi-chan taught it to me a few weeks back. I can't use it too much though, or it'll drain the little Magicka I have." Yui petted Ritsu's head as if she was a pediatrician treating a young child.

"Hey now, I'm not a Khajiit."

"Well you were a good patient, Ricchan." Ritsu reached her rather minuscule limit and hit the back of Yui's head with the iron butt of her axe, evoking a small whine from the girl.

"That was only a low level healing spell, Yui."

"But the other ones were so hard..."

"I'd bet I could learn all of them once we get back home."

"Hehe Ricchan, you're funny." The dual-wielder scoffed and went to retrieve her dagger from the captain's neck, only to have the handle emerge from the gore.

" _So much for dual-wielding._ " She thought, discarding it. The axe was already wearing her down though, so she just looted the steel dagger the captain had on her (she prayed to the Divines that she could find another one), as well as a keychain that looked rather necessary.

"Uh... let's keep going. And you should grab some of that armor, you are an Imperial by blood after all."

"That's a bit mean, don't you think? Why, it's stripping them _naked._ "

"We had this same discussion when we were restringing your lute."

"Yes, but this time it's an actual human." Ritsu had had enough of Yui's sudden, reasonable morality.

"Yui, I almost got killed back there. What would I have done if it wasn't for you?" Yui stood silent for a bit, maintaining her gaze towards Ritsu.

"...Alright." She said as she reluctantly picked out some essential armor pieces from the captain.

" _Ha, she took the bait._ "

"Let's just... never speak of this again." She murmured as she threw on the bloodied armor. Her partner lightheartedly pat her now steel-clad back, and they made their way to another gate in which Ritsu unlocked with the set of keys she retrieved.

The two descended an uncomfortably dank flight of stairs and all of a sudden the hallway's roof caved in, and the dragon's bellows were heard above. Well, that way was out of that picture. They headed left through a wooden door and arrived at what seemed to be some sort of Imperial barracks. That it was, since soon after, two burly men garbed in Imperial gear emerged from the other end of the room.

"Crap!" Yui yelled as she began to retreat back through the entrance.

"Hey! U-uh... don't just leave me here! We got this!" Her partner's encouragements resonated in the stone walls.

Yui stopped and started to truly feel these words, to absorb them. What was she afraid of anyways? Confidence was surging through her. Yui sprinted back in with some kind of newfound determination (which is particularly rare for someone like her), a flames spell readied in her left hand and her Imperial sword in her right. She fearlessly extended her left arm and aimed it at one of the men's face, effectively burning and incapacitating him. Then, she swiftly brought the sword across his throat, sending him straight to the ground. Yui swung the sword back the other direction to hit the other man who was just about to bring his axe down upon her, just hitting his exposed side. She armed her mini inferno again and created a concentrated spray towards his torso and face, causing him to collapse as well. Yui's feet gave way soon after.

"Wow... I'm really... tired..."

"Yui, what in the _hell_ was that." The other girl's voice emerged from the corner of the room.

"Eh?"

"Do you really just expect me to carry on like nothing- never mind." The elf just decided to keep a bit of distance from her freakishly godly friend for the time being. They continued onto the next room, which to their horror was the Imperial torture chamber. A deranged laugh sounded from around the corner, and revealed a hooded mage with a destructive look in his eyes.

" _This is slightly cliche..._ " Yui pouted.

"Ahh, more Stormcloak sods to torment I presume?" Directly after he finished, he jerked his hand forward and fired an ice spike directly through Yui's head. Ritsu's mouth gaped open.

"Yui! Y-you... skeever brain! You killed her!" Just as the torturer was about to cast a shock spell at Ritsu, she had already ran up and plunged her dagger into his head. His assistant was now in pursuit of her, but she was already prepared. She stepped away from where his sword was heading, grabbed his chest plate, and stabbed a total of four times all across his torso. She breathed heavily for a bit; But then her attention was brought back to her best friend, who was now frozen on the ground with an icicle going straight through her head.

"Y-Yui..." Ritsu began crying, her partner couldn't die after everything they've been through, all the memories and-

"It's okay... Ricchan, it... it didn't kill me..."

"Wait, what? How are you alive?" Ritsu sniffled through waterfalls of tears.

"I don't think it matters if the icicle goes through your head... or at least that's what that book said..."

"T-there's... still an icicle driven straight through your... brain. I-it's not that I'm complaining, but... what the hell? And what… what book?" She touched the icicle to make sure it was really there. Yeah. Still there.

"No... Ricchan, I mean it. If an icicle goes through your head, it's as if it went through any other place in your body so that it's not fatal. It's pretty cool... hehe… I'll tell you about that book later."

"Well, um..." Ritsu casted a basic flame spell to melt the icicle, "Does it hurt?"

"Yeah, it hurts... but it's nothing a bit of restoration magic and some potions can't fix!" She replied as she flipped the cap of a health potion off. Ritsu hesitantly helped her friend up, mortified yet relieved that she survived an icicle lobotomy. Once the icicle melted, there was but a small gash on her forehead.

" _Only the Gods would know how something like this could happen. Only the Gods._ " Ritsu's attention was brought to the filth-ridden cages next to them, which held the bodies of the tortured.

"Hey sir, are you still alive?" No response. "Oi, you think you could find any lockpicks around here? Well, lockpicks in a torture chamber is a pretty extravagant request but-" Yui held up a couple of lockpicks she scavenged from a leather satchel, "Andddd you found some." The Imperial rubbed her hand against her head and handed them off to Ritsu.

"Okay, just put this one in here like this, and the other one at this angle and they broke." She sighed and held up the second set of picks, they broke again. Third, pretty much just shattered as soon as they touched the lock. The fourth and final pair was actually making some sort of progress. " _Come on, come on... A little turn and-_ " They broke.

"TO OBLIVION WITH THIS DAMN THING!" She roared, emitting a vile aura. She grabbed her steel dagger from her belt and aggressively reached through the bars to retrieve the scattered gold pieces, spell tome, and potions that were trapped in the cage.

"Ricchan, I thought you were going to help that man."

"I really was, if those damn lockpicks would work!" She grumbled, kicking the lockpick fragments that were scattered across the floor.

"Ohoh, Master Thief Ricchan at work!"

"I'll show you, Hirasawa! I'll become the greatest thief of all time, at that!"

"Heh Ricchan, and I'm the Dragonborn." She ridiculed as she picked up a conveniently placed Book of the Dragonborn. " _I guess I'll bring this back for Ui._ " The two searched the torture chamber for anything else that could be of use; Ritsu luckily stumbling upon a second steel dagger on the torturer's belt (completing her set) as well as an extra iron one, and Yui discovering a few more lockpicks and a health potion.

They made their way through eerie hallways lined with dead bodies and skeletons (strangely, they still had coin purses in which Ritsu grabbed while Yui wasn't looking), until they reached a damp, natural cave guarded by more Imperial soldiers.

"Hmm... I'm kind of at a loss for ideas here..." The Imperial squinted at the ground, as if to absorb its knowledge.

"Heheh… watch and learn." Ritsu pointed to a glistening puddle of gasoline on the ground below a few of the soldiers, presumably. "You see that, Yui? I'm thinking we light that on fire and have it explode! But I don't know if your flames spell will go that far..."

"Wow Ritsu, that's actually a really... great idea... How could you..." Ritsu laughed as her pride levels skyrocketed. "You have to think in this world to survive, Yui."

"Ricchan thinks?" She brought a hand up to her mouth.

"Hey!" Her pride challenged, she immediately reverted back to her 'intellectual strategizing' pose, which merely consisted of placing her chin between her index finger and thumb. Ritsu snapped her fingers and reached into her boot, pulling out the iron dagger she had picked up earlier. "Now, I'm not going to sacrifice the steel ones, but this should work. Hopefully. Err... just follow my lead. Okay, fire up your flames spell."

Yui hesitated, but did as she was told, and a glowing blaze appeared in her palm. Ritsu grabbed her forearm and brought the flame onto the knife until it was red hot, emitting a bit of smoke as well. She stopped and took a deep inhale, shutting her left eye to lock onto the target.

For once, Ritsu was making careful calculations in what she was doing, as something like this was more or less a matter of life and death. The height of the throw, the angle, the power, the accuracy. Would it hit the ceiling or the ground too quickly? What if it alerted one of the guards before it hit the gas? Her hand was trembling immensely because of all these pointless questions she was asking herself, but she decided to throw all fear out the window and well, throw the dagger.

There was a breathtaking silence as the two girls had their eyes glued with anticipation on the searing dagger spinning through the air. It was almost there... it...

" _It hit!_ " They watched as the red hot dagger ignited the poorly-positioned-puddle-of-petrol on the ground below. An inferno instantly erupted, and every soldier in its vicinity was soon sent running around, screaming in utter pain as they were consumed by fire. Everyone else who wasn't hit had already deducted where the dagger had been thrown, and charged towards the two who were hiding next to the entrance.

"Now!" Both of them whispered, and they emerged from their cover, weapons ready. Ritsu was met with a soldier with studded armor and a mace- in which she was forced to dodge since it was too heavy to block with her daggers. A few blows were brought down on her arm and shoulder, which could've been her head lest she hadn't dodged. She huffed and groaned in sheer pain, but managed to stab the man a couple of times in the stomach.

The duel wielder dodged a couple of times more to make her way to the next two soldiers, who were turned away from her and distracted by Yui. She stabbed both of them thrice in the back and they were both brought to the ground. However, Ritsu's unfinished business was ready to sneak up behind her with his mace, but Yui was already alerted by the impending attack and casted her flames spell once more, sending him back clutching his face. She advanced forward and plunged her sword directly into his his bleeding stomach, and he fell to the floor.

"Yui..." The amber haired girl put her hand on the other's shoulder as she gripped her own. "...Heal me later... let's go before more come for us." " _Yeah, that sounds pretty heroic.._." Yui examined her own injuries, which consisted of an impact wound that warped the side of her armor.

"No, Ricchan. It's okay, I've got some Magicka potions with me." She said as she flashed a thumbs up. The brunette casted the healing spell on herself, which engulfed her in a warm, yellow aura. She retrieved a blue vial from her armor's attached satchel and took a swig, rejuvenating her Magicka reserves. Yui brought her hands up to Ritsu's arm and shoulder, healing any injuries she had.

"Geez Yui, you're becoming quite the overpowered one... it's making me feel kind of..." Ritsu stopped before she could admit that she was jealous of Yui of all people. "Smug! Haha, yes! We should duel when we get back, or maybe have a thievery competition."

"Ehhhh? Sounds... sounds good to me!" She beamed as she retracted her hands. Ritsu puffed out her chest and took the lead as they walked towards the drawbridge that seemed to be the only viable path out of the cavern. She pulled the lever and the bridge dropped with a loud thud. The duo made their way across and reached yet another cavern which stank of mold, only this time it lacked guards.

Yui darted down the decayed staircase and slid down on her knees to scoop up some water from a stream running through the ground.

"Freshwater, Ricchan! It's freshwater!" Ritsu followed suit, and turned back to the girl next to her.

"You're right, Yui! It's freshwater! Water… that's fresh!" They both cupped their hands to the water source, savoring every drop they got. Only now they had realized how parched they were after their battles, and the cool refreshment coursed through their bodies.

"Haaaaa~" They both exhaled in relief, laying back against their hands. The amber haired girl opened her eyes to look around, and her eyes stopped on the tunnel where the stream continued.

"Oi, check it out." Yui snapped out of her relaxation to see what her partner was talking about, and the pair both knew what the other was thinking. They got up and made their way through the stream, cautiously hopping on the stones to make sure their feet didn't get completely soaked. All was going well until they reached the next horror of the damned underground- the spider den.

A slight shadow was casted upon Ritsu's face as she observed colossal frostbite spiders tend to their home, unknowing of the two's presence. Yui was merely fixated on the baby spiders, who were less intimidating and freakishly large.

Ritsu gazed down, a bit shaken at what she just saw. "Mio would be…" She let out a soft chuckle. " _That high elf wouldn't even be conscious at this point._ " The thief shook her head at the thought, as she realized that she could be torn apart by giant arachnids at any second.

"Hey Ricchan, you think this could work?" Yui inquired, pulling a wooden bow out of seemingly nowhere.

"Where'd you even get that?!"

"While you were puffing your chest out and walking ahead of me towards the bridge, I decided to borrow it from one of those soldiers. It's a bit burnt though." Ritsu stared at her and her new plaything, barely surprised this time around.

"Uh, yeah…" She replied as she lightly scratched her cheek, "You think you could get a good shot?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure!"

"You'd better be 'pretty sure', I really don't want to get killed by spiders today."

"Hoi hoi~" Yui chirped. She gripped the bow and felt it's lightweight body bend in her hands. Her fingers touched it's string with the iron arrow gently, and she pulled it back to her cheek. The feather grazed her face a little, she could feel the rough texture of the string and the weight of the draw.

" _I should aim this he...h...h...HAAAAA-" "CHOOOOO!_ " The arrow went flying, completely missing the target, however it did succeed in alerting the creatures to their position.

"Yui, you idiot!" The spiders were charging towards them at a terrifying speed, and a panicked Ritsu grabbed the arrow quiver and bow from Yui. She steadied her hands which seemed to have developed a pounding heartbeat of their own, and shot a round directly in the head of one of the predators. She let out a squeal of amazement, and Yui turned to her in astonishment.

"Ricchan! Whatever you just did, keep going!"

"You got it!" The monsters were approaching their vantage point on top of a slope, but Ritsu already had another arrow cocked. She let it loose, and it hit one of them in their back, pinning it to the ground momentarily, making a horrific squelch noise. She cocked two this time and aimed the bow horizontally. Squinting her left eye yet again to make sure she had a good shot, she fired them towards the last two that had almost made it up, blowing both back at each other and down the hill.

"Woo! Yeah, that's what I'm talking about! Spiders, come at me, right now! I'll shoot down every last one of-" The spider that was pinned down lunged at her, but Yui gave one good slash to knock it away. "Oh… uh… heh…"

"That was amazing, Ricchan! You were all like 'twang' when the arrows flew, and the spiders were all like, uh, 'dead'!"

"You got that right, Private! Now, onwards!" Ritsu commanded as she held up the bow with bravado. Yui and Ritsu hopped their way through the repulsive spider corpses with a disturbing ease, and went on through the next tunnel. It was ominously silent until they reached another stream which ran through cavern.

"This is getting so boooring, I hope we can get out of here soon so that we can drink Mugi's tea and eat her sweets~!" Yui mused, getting lost in the thought of doing so.

"Hey, is that all you're thinking abou…" Ritsu began to drool as strawberry crostatas and apple dumplings filled her mind, and she crashed into a strangely placed cart of cabbages. "Oww…"

"Ricchan… hey! Uh… Ricchan!" Aggravated by her urgency, Ritsu jerked her head up.

"What?!" A grizzly roar interrupted anything Yui was about to answer with, and they both looked towards the source- a black bear who was awaken from it's slumber.

Yui was already dashing away, leaving Ritsu in the dust.

"H-hey! Waaaait!" Ritsu put her track skills to the test as she rushed over to catch up with her partner, all the while trying to avoid chase from the beast.

"It's right on our tail!" Yui looked back at Ritsu's words only to find that the bear was indeed, right behind them. They kicked through a bunch of human remains and bones and made their way to a rocky slope, in which they slid down with unparalleled precision.

"Ricchan, it's... the exit!" Yui heaved as they were greeted by a blindingly bright opening. Ritsu reached into her satchel to recover a dark green vial, in which she splashed directly in the bear's eyes. It bellowed in horrifying anguish as it's vision was consumed by the green poison.

"Yui!" Ritsu grabbed her friend, pulled her through the exit, and they tumbled out of that nightmare. An explosion behind them would have suited the moment well, as the level of exhilarating action would have easily accommodated it.

"Did we… do it?" Ritsu breathed, clutching her chest as her heart was pounding straight out of it.

"Yeah… Where'd you get that poison…?" Yui said as she laid on her back spread eagle, catching what little breath she had.

"The spider venom was… conveniently placed in the spider's sac in the form of vials...Wait… why isn't it still giving chase? It was right behind us…"

"Silly... Ricchan, enemies can't follow you through… exits…"

"W-what…?"

"In the _Adventurer's Guide to Skyrim_ ™… it lists things like that… Like when that icicle went through my head… it said that stuff was normal…"

"Was that… the book you mentioned?" Yui nodded her head. "Do… do you have it with you now?" Ritsu asked as she sat up in utter confusion.

"Of course not... Ricchan, but it is back on my nightstand in the inn at Riverwood where we were staying."

"Ah, that's right… I hope the others are there…"

"Yeah, me too." Suddenly, the peaceful conversation was interrupted once more, as the dragon's voice thundered throughout the land. Jet black wings soared above them, and the environment reacted appropriately as trees and such were whipped back by the sheer winds that were generated. The girls both scrambled to hide behind a small boulder, and they observed as the monster soared away from Helgen, disappearing in the distance. The two sat in silence for a bit, until Yui spoke up.

"So… should we head back to Riverwood?"

Ritsu was still staring into the sky, trying to comprehend most of what just happened.

"...Yeah."

* * *

 **A/N:** Thanks for reading! Forewarning, this fic is going to get a bit crack, as you could tell from how the game mechanics were mentioned (the icicle, the bear not being able to follow them…)((for anyone who doesn't play Skyrim these actually occur in-game))

Big thanks to the K-ON Discord as well! I probably wouldn't have written this if the idea wasn't put out there. If you haven't joined already, whatchu doin? Just search K-ON Discord and boom, that first result will probably have the link and do you just fine.

Make sure to review, thanks again!


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